Random Quotes

By | August 23, 2009

William Hazlitt – “Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.”

Charles Bukowski – “The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.”

Michael Pritchard – “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.”

Jeffery F. Chamberlain – “In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.”

Ring Lardner – “A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.”

Lily Tomlin – “Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then–we elected them.”

Francois de La Rochefoucauld – “Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?”

Aristotle – “All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.”

Jay Leno – “Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.”

Bertrand Russell – “Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.”

Carl Sagan – “It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English — up to fifty words used in correct context — no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.”

William J. H. Boetcker – “That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.”

Tommy Smothers – “Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT’S bad for you!”

George Bernard Shaw – “Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.”

Robert Orben – “Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson – “To be great is to be misunderstood.”

Jeff Valdez – “Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.”

Anonymous – “God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.”

Abraham Lincoln – “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”

Doctor Who – “First things first, but not necessarily in that order.”

Mark Twain – “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”

Ellen DeGeneres – “In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.”

General Douglas Macarthur – “Americans never quit.”

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg – “To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation.”

Pablo Picasso – “There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.”

Albert Einstein – “The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.”

James Thurber – “There are two kinds of light–the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.”

Chester Bowles – “Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.”

Tom Lehrer – “On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.”

Frank Lloyd Wright – “Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.”

William Safire – “Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.”

Blake Clark – “Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.”

Samuel McChord Crothers – “The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.”

Napoleon Bonaparte – “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”

Thomas A. Edison – “Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless.”

Ray Bradbury – “We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?”

Joseph Heller – “The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he’s on.”

Samuel Johnson – “Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it.”

William James – “There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.”

A. A. Milne – “One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.”

Eugene McCarthy – “It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.”

Unknown – “What if this weren’t a hypothetical question?”

Shana Alexander – “The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous.”

Christopher Morley – “Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.”

An English Professor – “I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.”

Roald Amundsen – “Adventure is just bad planning.”


Scott M. Stolz

Entrepreneur, Educator, Author.
Helping people embrace life's opportunities.™